a zero sum game?
I’ve been experiencing a bit of a mental/emotional breakdown over the last few days. It’s been rough. And I’ve been doing a lot of self-reflection. Not deliberately, but it think it’s just part of it.
Parallel to this I finally came to the decision that I would go back onto antidepressants after seven years being off them. Day one has been very groggy so far.
I also realised I am spending far too much time and energy consuming the opinions and views of others, whilst partially abandoning my own truth and my self.
I really want to talk about this stuff a lot more. It’s super important. And maybe I will.
In the meantime I will be withdrawing somewhat from the current social media paradigm (again). Even from the wholesomeness of the Micro.blog timeline.
I don’t know what this will look like for me. But I need to address the balance of consuming and creating. And I fear that social media – no matter how wholesome – is an absolute dead weight in that equation. For me at least. As if trying to find balance is a futile exercise. A kind of zero sum game where the entire Internet always wins just because I took part in it.
What I love about the internet doesn’t have much to do with social media at all. I really enjoy reading blogs about people’s lives: their struggles and triumphs; their art; moments in their day; all that stuff. I enjoy interacting with them in my RSS feeds or email subscriptions. I love to reply and chat, or just offer empathy, a word of support about whatever it is.
Anyway.
I’m going to continue to post my work to these three blogs that I have (below). But I’m not sure how much of it I will share to social timelines (Micro.blog and Bluesky) any longer. Or how active I will be generally.
Maybe this is just a little break and I will ease myself back in later.
Thanks for reading,
Aeryn
My blogs-
- aeryn.me - mostly short form posts; thoughts; snaps and clips from my day
- Art Journal
- Being Me - longer posts, blogs, podcasts about mental health; healing; spirituality; woo woo
RSS feeds and email newsletters can be found on those sites.
Over, and out.