I’ll be posting some bloggy things off-feed in the future. Meaning, they won’t be on social timelines.

It’s something I already do, but it’s a bit messy the way I set it up, so I don’t use it that much right now. I just need to look at it again, figure it out, and get on with it.

Mmm cardamom latte ☕️

I feel quite a bit better this morning tho still exhausted and super swimmy in my head. I did get almost 8 hours sleep too which feels amazing in itself.

I think I might be seeing family today (they’ve been ill too so all good). And I’m hoping I can get some fresh air too.

This cold has whammied me.

I feel I have a creative void in my life and it’s because I try to prioritise productivity. And I leave creativity until last. Which is usually the end of the day when I’m knackered and stupid.

I haven’t always been like this. I used to be creatively busy but unable to look after myself.

I’ve had a really good, long walk. And I’m recovering in a coffee shop before heading home. Very tired.

I’m happy to be moving my body, getting good lungfuls of fresh air and a few miles behind me. I really lost my fitness over the last few months.

Today was a good day.

This morning: The Squirrel Encounter 🐿️ which was so nice and unexpected. But too tired to tell that story tonight.

Also. Had a great time at support centre. We sang happy birthday for someone 3 times and ate lots of cake.

Now is self-care and journaling time. 🥱

My schedule is not a to-do list
My schedule is not a to-do list
My schedule is not a to-do list
My schedule is not a to-do list
My schedule is not a to-do list

It was a pretty good day today. I went into a depressive episode after my dental work yesterday. It was tough going. But I did manage to finish a post about cameras and I feel good for that. Today was getting back into a groove. Moving forward. And shitloads of intense paperwork

Dental appointment went well. I had some work done as a kind of stop gap until I can decide on either an extraction or a root canal. Hopefully this will stop the pain until I can arrange something one way or the other.

Rest of today is for self care and recovery.

Today has been extremely intense with tooth pain and kinda general face pain. I nearly went to hospital I was so completely overwhelmed and panicky with it. I was just at the end of what I could cope with. Luckily it’s all died down in the last few hours. I’ll be phoning dentists in the morning.

I have a dodgy tooth and it’s been playing up the last couple of days. It’s probably going to need to be extracted at some point fairly soon.

Last night the pain was pretty horrendous, blooming across my face, and I got very little sleep. Just dozing in and out of wakefulnesss over and over again. So many times.

One thing face pain does for me is it really sends me into a deep meditative presence at times. What else is there to do? Pain is pain. If the painkillers aren’t killing it, then I can only experience it. It’s kinda fascinating watching it shift and change, fade in and out. Not that it helps it go away or anything.

Anyway. This morning my watch announced a cheerful congratulations that I’d hit my sleep goal.

🤷‍♀️

I find the sleep tracking to be pretty bad on this thing. One time it tracked me as asleep when I was actually playing Fortnite. I guess I really am a chill gamer. 🎮

I need to find a dentist.

I cried quite a bit during the first three episodes of Arcane Season 2.

I feel like something’s building up for a purge. It’s been a rough year.

Aaah. Fresh air! My first time outside for 7 days.

Me and my eldest revived one of our Christmas traditions last night: Opening our Winterfest presents together in Fortnite.

Fortnite’s been a really important way for me to connect with my kids over the years. Although it’s just a video game, it is a part of our connectedness. 🎮

I love Micro.blog. A lot. I think it’s awesome. And I admit that I am a chaotic person. But I find Micro.blog overly chaotic at times. And I feel like I have to double check everything just a bit too much. The posting paranoia is real.

I have a very full freezer after this morning’s delivery. I won’t need to buy much food for the next couple of weeks.

All presents are sorted. I just need to get a few Christmas cards.

I have some family 💜💜💜 get-togethers to look forward to over Christmas. But I will need to pace myself.

It’s before 7am. I’m sitting by my window and it’s dark outside. I have a steaming hot latte and a warm radiator by my feet. I have oils diffusing into my room and a few candles burning around me. I’m getting over recent migraines (the relief!) and I feel cozy. It’s a good start for the day.

Hoping for a good night sleep tonight.

It turned out to be quite a busy day at home getting a few things done and some creative stuff sprinkled in too.

Insomnia last night was brutal. Today is a Cannot day.

Feeling crazy and ungrounded. Self care and gentlenesss is now on the schedule. So plans have been changed and cancelled.

Happy Friday 13th 🎉

This week has been extreme. I have been going through one of my epic mood swings. It happened so fast and so strong and I’ve been feeling very unsafe. I think maybe I’m coming out of it a little now. All I can do is white knuckle it whilst taking care of myself as gently as I can.

This week went from amazing to sucky very fast.

I think I’m under the weather. I’ve been feeling really off today. Shaky, uncertain, forgetful, scattered, confused, exhausted, restless. I stayed in and have been unable to do anything except watch Being John Malkovich. Which I was not as good as I was expecting.