Dreams
Moving my personal blog and a new RSS feed URL (goodbye and thanks Micro.blog)
Hey :)
This is just a quick update on this post- RSS feed changes
I’m moving from Micro.blog to a new platform.
- I am going to be moving to a new blogging platform this weekend (for my personal blog). Maybe tonight. It just depends how things go.
- The aeryn.me domain will be moved to the new platform too.
- The new feed URL will be at https://aeryn.me/feed/.
- If you wish to continue to follow this blog in your feed reader, you will need to add it again because I am unable to add feed redirects on the new platform.
- My Micro.blog-hosted site will remain live for some more months whilst I continue migrating posts. But will eventually disappear, I expect.
- I do not intend to delete my account (I want to preserve timeline posts) but will let it lapse back to a free account.
- I will most likely not be posting to Micro.blog anymore. 🤷♀️
- I am now microblogging on Mastodon and still adding Micro.blog folks there gradually. I love that I can continue to follow, although there does feel like some distance now, which is a shame.
- I cross-post from Mastodon to Bluesky too.
Lastly, although I will potentially write about Micro.blog again in the future, I just want to say thank you to Manton, support people, and the community. Thanks for making me feel welcome and being generally a friendly, supportive, and wholesome place.
Bye and see you around
Aeryn x
Edit to add: I think I may have figured out a RSS redirect at the new place. Not sure.
RSS feed changes
Hey,
I am migrating this blog (aeryn.me) to a new platform soon. And all existing RSS feeds will break.
I have set up a feed redirect on the current platform. If you would like to continue to follow my blog, please subscribe this new URL.
The new feed URL will be: https://aeryn.me/feed/
This URL will be the Atom feed address on the new platform, and should be a valid redirect until I complete the move. But I’m not sure all RSS feed clients will happily ‘subscribe’ to a redirect, or not.
So, if you subscribe and you don’t hear anything within a couple of weeks, please check my blog again. I’ll be posting RSS/Atom feed options on the new platform once I’ve moved over.
A dream about having a mental breakdown
I had a very intense dream last night. I feel like I’m honestly a little bit traumatised by it still, a few hours later.
It was so strange. Basically, I experienced a mental breakdown in my dream and all of the consequences and interventions that go along with that.
Trigger warning for abuse
This is something I’ve experienced in my real life, but I don’t think I’ve ever had a dream like this. I feel a little bit shell shocked by it because of how intense it was and how I was responding to what was happening to me.
In the dream there were authority figures who were trying to help me by staging an intervention. At the same time there were other people associated with them who were trying to harm me, in a kind of obvious way. And I felt like the authority figures weren’t protecting me from that harm that was coming from their associates.
And there also were people trying to abuse me in a kind of covert sneaky way.
And I basically couldn’t really tell the difference between these different people. It was really scary. They were trying to hurt me and I was lashing out in return. I was like a wild animal. And the longer it went on for, the worst it got.
There was this overwhelming feeling of how I was the cause of it all, and how I was bad, and that everything that I could possibly do was wrong so that there were no positive steps I could take to help myself. And that these people could not see my truth, that I was innocent. That things were spiralling out of control, and that wasn’t my fault.
Then, the authority figures were trying to get me to a safe place where they could look after me. But I couldn’t trust them. I wasn’t sure if they were really helping me or if they were trying to harm me. So I escaped.
Then I was trying to get myself to safety, to my home where I could be secure and away from all other people. And whilst I was doing this, I managed to get away from everyone and I was alone. But in a public space where there were nothing but strangers around me. And it seemed to me that everyone was just as messed up as I was. As if the whole world had gone crazy. Like a zombie apocalypse of mental health issues.
And then I forgot where I lived, and I decided it was best to try to find the people who I thought were going to help me, but I couldn’t find them either. They had disappeared.
All this time through the dream, I relive the experience of terror through to confusion and onto my mind completely shutting down and going numb.
I got to this numbness in my dream. But I was also watching the whole thing because it was a dream. Really, really strange and unpleasant.
It was a real trauma dream. Of states of mind that I’ve experienced in the past.
I don’t know what to make of it all really.
It reminds me of times in my life when I’ve gone through this, I really couldn’t tell the difference between someone trying to help me and someone tried to harm me.
And that kind of paranoid state that I slip in and out of at times. Kind of delusional confusion where I’m not sure of anyone’s intentions and I get scared that even the friendliest of people might be an enemy in disguise.
And it’s not like there’s no basis for my fear. I have experienced abuse and manipulation by authority, and support figures in my life. People who are mandated by our medical or social support systems.
It’s a seriously scary state of mind to be in. These are scary times to live through.
All I have is my internal support system. If I didn’t have it, I would be in hospital screaming into the void.
It’s taken me a long time to acknowledge that this spiritual world is real and is inside of me and that I can trust it. And that the more I trust it, the crazier the outside world seems to become.
It keeps becoming more real. I’m not new to this journey. But every day is like starting fresh.
Dreams like this seem on one hand to be maybe my brain having a little short circuit. But I think it’s actually a message.
I don’t know how to end this post. These are just my experiences and thoughts. I don’t wanna spend a whole morning polishing my words into some kind of beautiful thing that will change hearts and minds.
I dreamed last night that that I had an extra finger beginning to grow between the existing ones. I was asking friends if it was new because I wasn’t sure if it had always been there or not.
In the same dream I had a patch of blue skin on my back.
👽🤷♀️