I’ve been trying to edit photos today (edit, not process) and I always get completely overwhelmed and feel myself shutting down down creatively. I feel so frustrated by this. I just want to create, and write, and share. After I click the shutter button, or I write a thing, all the brakes go on.

And my youngest might be visiting today!!!!🎉 so I am downloading his favourite games to my console, just in case: Apex; Rocket League; Overwatch. It will take many hours to download them all. I deleted them recently to clear some space. 🎮.

It’s before 7am. I’m sitting by my window and it’s dark outside. I have a steaming hot latte and a warm radiator by my feet. I have oils diffusing into my room and a few candles burning around me. I’m getting over recent migraines (the relief!) and I feel cozy. It’s a good start for the day.

Hoping for a good night sleep tonight.

It turned out to be quite a busy day at home getting a few things done and some creative stuff sprinkled in too.

I’m sad that so many people think video games (or any kind of art) that features queer, or queer-coded characters is some kind of agenda. How about queer people just like to see themselves represented in art? Maybe it’s that simple.

Insomnia last night was brutal. Today is a Cannot day.

Feeling crazy and ungrounded. Self care and gentlenesss is now on the schedule. So plans have been changed and cancelled.

Happy Friday 13th 🎉

Where is all the time going? 🤷‍♀️ 🤔

I got my first crowned victory royale today for chapter 6, Fortnite. It felt like a major achievement. But probably I was in a lobby with a lot of bots. 🎮

I needed to contact a dev today for support with an app I recently purchased. But they do that through Twitter. Which I don’t have any more. 🤷‍♀️

This old git passed her hearing test with flying colours. Right ear seems to be normal, or maybe slightly better than expected. Left ear hears a little less, but still well within normal parameters.

Having a Snoopy screensaver on TV might be the best thing ever invented

Today is for engineer visits and receiving deliveries. Christmas has come early

I’m back home from a few days R&R with my parents. It was really nice. I basically lived in my pyjamas for 4 straight days.

I’m loving seeing all the art on Bluesky. It’s really inspiring

This week has been extreme. I have been going through one of my epic mood swings. It happened so fast and so strong and I’ve been feeling very unsafe. I think maybe I’m coming out of it a little now. All I can do is white knuckle it whilst taking care of myself as gently as I can.

This week went from amazing to sucky very fast.

Nice!

I think I’m under the weather. I’ve been feeling really off today. Shaky, uncertain, forgetful, scattered, confused, exhausted, restless. I stayed in and have been unable to do anything except watch Being John Malkovich. Which I was not as good as I was expecting.

I’m full of Christmas food. We celebrated a family birthday. I spent some time with my elusive hermit youngest child. Today was a good day.

Wow. PlayStation is 30 tomorrow. I’ve been playing since the original and owned one from every generation. 🎮

I am trans. I am gay. I’m neurodiverse. I have a developmental disorder. I’m on the spectrum.

I have been in some VERY awful situations in my life. I am traumatised. I find life very challenging.

I’m doing my best.

This is not an apology. It’s my honour. To claim a space in this crazy world.

Today I had a reassuring conversation with my support worker who said that if I experience anything uncomfortable at the centre, I can let her know and she will be by my side.

I’m aware of a person‘s certain opinions about people like me. They haven’t made any trouble so I didn’t tell her who. 🤷‍♀️