I’ve been very dissociative today. Very weird. I think it’s partly the tail end of this cold. But something else too. I did have a massive cry out of the blue this morning. More trauma. Heavy stuff I’ve been carrying for decades. It felt good but the relief didn’t last too long. Back in it tonight.

I’ll be posting some bloggy things off-feed in the future. Meaning, they won’t be on social timelines.

It’s something I already do, but it’s a bit messy the way I set it up, so I don’t use it that much right now. I just need to look at it again, figure it out, and get on with it.

HOLY FUCK what is happening?

I would love to share my opinion but I don’t think anyone cares. I mean that very literally and not in a poor-me sense.

The sheer volume of ally-voices compared to actual trans voices is incredible and deeply uncomfortable.

Please, no replies.

Nice evening with the fam

In my next life I want to be a better parent

In the meantime I will keep trying to be a better parent

Mmm cardamom latte ☕️

I feel quite a bit better this morning tho still exhausted and super swimmy in my head. I did get almost 8 hours sleep too which feels amazing in itself.

I think I might be seeing family today (they’ve been ill too so all good). And I’m hoping I can get some fresh air too.

Artwork for Reverie (2025) by Joachim Heinrich. A scene of a river surrounded by green trees.

I’ve been listening to this artist on shuffle for hours today. And he has no albums listed on Apple Music. But a lot of singles and EPs.

Just really beautiful music. Slightly eclectic. I was reminded sometimes of Hans Zimmer, sometimes Einaudi. There are field recordings in the mix too. Wonderful! 🎵

Reverie (2025) by Joachim Heinrich

I’m keeping it really light on media for a time. I don’t exactly know what’s going on but I can guess from some posts I have seen.

I’m praying we can learn and find true unity, peace, support and resolution in the face of adversity.

I’m here if anyone needs a shoulder to cry on

I have been editing photos today. They’re better than I remember, especially after taking some time in Lightroom. A good way to convalesce. But will I publish any of them? 🤷‍♀️

I really want to be better for tomorrow. There’s someone special I really want to see.🤞

I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m so done with this. I just want to get better. And then when I’m better I want to be able. and then when I’m able I want to be normal. And then when I’m normal I want to be blah blah..

Just to go outside would honestly be awesome for today. And sleep.

This cold has whammied me.

Aw, Virgin River never disappoints

Album cover art for Some Friendly (1990) by The Charlatans featuring an abstract, distorted image of people

This is my soundtrack 🎵 to going to see my grandparents in Oxfordshire. I remember the way their house smelled (pipe tobacco) and the forests we drove through to get to them..

This album blew my young mind. And I listened relentlessly. ~1990s

Some Friendly (1990) by The Charlatans

Mmm hot apple, lingonberry, honey, and ginger to warm my cockles

But yuck. I had a rough night. The germ has moved into my throat.

Maybe I over stretched myself yesterday.

I feel I have a creative void in my life and it’s because I try to prioritise productivity. And I leave creativity until last. Which is usually the end of the day when I’m knackered and stupid.

I haven’t always been like this. I used to be creatively busy but unable to look after myself.

It seems I picked up some kind of a germ today. It’s hit me pretty hard this evening. Yuck!

Other that. A good day.

I’ve had a really good, long walk. And I’m recovering in a coffee shop before heading home. Very tired.

I’m happy to be moving my body, getting good lungfuls of fresh air and a few miles behind me. I really lost my fitness over the last few months.

A grass field with wooden fence posts in the foreground and a blue sky. Cows can be seen in the field, with hills barely visible in the distance.

I’m on a village-hopping walk towards the city and I can’t believe this place I found. I forgot views like this existed within Manchester. So beautiful. 📷

I’m so glad I decided to expand my horizons today

A clear morning sky coloured from deep lilac through to gold at the horizon. A plane flying over, trees, telephone lines, and a house are silhouetted against the sky.

Gorgeous morning sky. Happy Thursday

I’ve been using Halide + Process Zero on most iPhone shots for a while now. I really like it. I’ve got a lot of room for pixel massaging (the sky needed a little work in this one). And the digital noise is pretty nice actually. 📷 🌅

Son 2 is the cheekiest, most hilarious little (big now) monkey on the planet. His relentless disrespect for my well earned 😉 and natural parental authority never ceases to humble and simultaneously crack me tf up. 💜💜💜💜💜

I had another squirrel experience this morning. So frickin cute! 🐿️

Support centre was nice. But totally wiped out now.

I need to recharge so I can get on with editing photos, which I’ve been neglecting.