Personal Log
This is the soundtrack to the breakdown of my life. 2017. 🎵
It’s was an intensely painful and paradoxically beautiful time. My mind was breaking down and I was having all sorts of crazy experiences whilst desperately trying to stay out of hospital.
And this music was my solace. I played it on repeat for hours at a time. Day after day. I never did get sick of it.
It’s my favourite Radiohead album and it will always mean so much to me.
Thursday morning thoughts
I’ve been feeling a little better the last couple of days. The depression seems to be lifting.
I’ve been watching videos about David Lynch recently on YouTube. Just clips mainly. And I’ve saved a couple of longform videos to watch about him later.
I was never really interested in him as a person whilst he was alive, but rather the art that he made. So I just didn’t really know much about him other than he’s just some director.
But the more I watch about him, the more I find him to be a very endearing soul. And the more I find myself falling in love with him.
I’m looking forward to diving into more of his work and getting to know him.
Switching this Log to HP Mode rss.
I don’t really have any idea how many people follow my social feeds, or follow my log via RSS. But I’m not posting to socials right now. So if you’re reading this, congratulations! you’ve found my secret stash.
Note: Categories XP and HP are intended to be mutually exclusive. XP cross-posts to Micro.blog and Bluesky. HP is for my hosted site only and is not cross-posted anywhere. I have temporarily changed the filter on the backend to default to HP for all new posts (instead of the usual XP). What a relief! I can post and not worry about it.
Because I can’t with social media right now. I’m still reading feeds but keeping it light and skimming past The Intensity.
Replies and messages are welcome.
Anyway, I’m in the middle of quite a major depressive episode. It came on quite suddenly on Monday morning. And a couple of times during the week it felt like it might be lifting. But then it got worse again, it’s here and it will be here until it’s not.
The world is intense. I am intense.
I am bad at Fortnite https://youtu.be/KoaoyHjVaLw 🎮
Today
was strange. But good.
Part of my support system is going away. Sad face.
I stepped out of my comfort zone a couple of times.
I feel like my stamina is beginning to improve nicely after a recent illnesss.
I want to have more evening energy.
I want to be more healthy generally.
Tapestry and Micro.blog: does anyone know how to get an item to open the Micro.blog feed item rather than the hosted blog post? Like Reeder does.
I’ve hardly played Fortnite this season and it shows. Today I’ve played about 8 games and I didn’t last more than 4 or 5 miniutes in any of them. Except the last one….. 🎮
I just watched Koyaanisqatsi (1982) 🎥. An intensely beautiful film. I’m just blown away and have no words to describe the journey I’ve been on for the last 90 minutes. I feel like I need to be quiet for a few days to take it all in.
Sometimes art can change your life. This might be that.
I've been on Micro.blog for just over a year and it's time to renew for another
I have successfully downgraded my Micro.blog account to the standard plan. It was pretty seamless and easy and will take affect in a few days.
Reasons are nothing to do with the recent micro drama but mainly because I realised I just don’t really need all those features, particularly. And the standard plan represents great value.
I do believe this is a great platform, and an extremely valuable part of the Internet. But I’ve found at times it’s just a bit too glitchy and chaotic for me.
I would love to see Micro.blog become a solid, stable platform. But in my perspective, it isn’t really that at the moment. And I don’t think it’s for casual users at all. Although maybe Micro.one is.
Then again, I have no idea what it takes to keep something like this going. I can appreciate that it must be incredibly hard work.
So thanks to Manton and everyone else working behind the scenes and contributing to the platform in various ways.
I’ve really enjoyed getting to know some people a little, and beginning to feel like I’m a part of an online community again after leaving the socials behind. And I’m really glad some of the more uncomfortable features and behaviours of social media are not present here.
Here’s to another year.. 🍻
I really love how much writing I can get done with my voice. My devices provide a friction-free experience of getting thoughts onto ‘paper’, in real time.
It could be better, but this is the best it’s ever been.
I do have to be alone for this to work effectively, otherwise it’s socially weird.
Things that spike anxiety- appointments that are later in the day. Basically anything not in the first half of the morning
😩
Aaah. I love Billy Connolly. I just watched Made in Scotland. So good. So heartwarming. He’s part of my culture. I remember watching him at various times all through my life, pretty much. He truly has the soul of an artist. Very inspiring.
Pika users: For you, does the new lightbox thingy have arrows to move to the next photo? If so, do I need to publish my photos as a grid or doesn’t it matter?
Or are there no Next/Previous arrows?