XP
A post about wanting to be self-supportive, the shame of accepting disability support, labels, and jumping through hoops #HealingOutLoud
I’ve been feeling sick with worry for the last 24 hours. I signed into the benefits system yesterday morning and I realise I missed something they requested from me about 10 days ago.
So I’ve been working on this thing
I’m annoyed that online accounts send sign-in emails. Having a password is 10000% better. I was unable to sign in to something today because my email service went down. It’s so annoying how that can lock me out of completely unrelated services.
They’re switching my disability / housing support around to a new system. The last few months of this has been incredibly stressful. Endless phone calls and form filling. Today I found I will probably have to go for some kind of medical assessment again. I wanna puke forever.
I’m near the end of Supergirl tv show. It’s really mixed quality. But some seasons have been really good. I’m glad this last one is one of the good seasons. I’ll miss this show when I’m done. And I need a supergirl cape now
In my quest to find the successor to my Ricoh GR II, I have been researching and considering the Fujifilm X100 VI. Yesterday, to my surprise, I discovered another unexpected possibility in the Leica D-Lux 8. More affordable than the X100! 🤯
It’s difficult to see which could be best for me. 🤔
First game back in a few weeks 🎮 #Fortnite
I had a productive evening archiving photography projects. One photography project to be fair. But I’m trying to lay the groundwork for future projects. So lots of forward momentum even tho not much actually done. Feels good.
Q. Where does Mastodon get my profile photo from if I don’t have a Mastodon account? It is using an old Micro.blog photo. Not my new one.
Any help would be appreciated as I would like to know how to update it.
I returned to social media late 2023 after a couple of years away, vowing never to return to the big tech giants for my publishing. It began by rebooting my blog on a different platform. And then slowly I began to embrace the social side of things.
It took a long while for me, after feeling deeply jaded and even suspicious of the internet and the general erosion of the integrity – and increasing hostility – of services I had used for many years.
I joined Bluesky too. And I think it’s a great platform. But the culture there is not for me, generally.
There is no point to this. The end.
Thoughts can end abruptly and that’s fine. It’s time for breakfast anyway.
I think I’m coming out of this bug I had. I’m calling it a cold but it felt different. And not c either. Anyway. The weirdness seems to be going away a bit now. I am starting to feel more normal physically. I’ve had a rough few days mentally. And again feeling a bit better today. 😣/😊
OK Go - A Stone Only Rolls Downhill (Official Video)
This is so cool. It’s mind bendingly creative. 🎵
I think I have to recognise when it’s best for me to stay off socials. Sometimes I can spend just a few minutes reading and I start losing my shit. That’s where I am today and last few days.
I’m not shying away from the world but when I’m feeling extra sensitive I have to remind myself what’s real.
I had an incredible lucid dream last night. I haven’t had one in a while. I woke up feeling very connected and whole.
I’m so tired now. It’s 4pm and I’m back in bed. My mood is through the floor. This bug is shitty.
I fixed my Mac! It had been running weirdly slow recently. Until I switched off Apple AI.
I haven’t really used AI much, ever. Tho it did help me with some regex the other day. So it was useful for that. And when I think I might need it again I can toggle it on for a few minutes.
Just took the camera for a walk. It was sunny at first and then it got gloomy. Good for shooting around the back streets where I live.
I’ve stopped for a coffee for warmth and just pulled this off my camera. I like it! Good timing with the plane. No idea what these plants are tho. 📷 ✈️